Saturday, September 05, 2009

New Cover for the Dark Lands!

First, apologies to those who will see two of these posts on Facebook, but my fan page for my novel is open, and I have a new cover image created by Andre Jones @ Pixel Interactions. Here's the link: http://www.facebook.com/pages/The-Dark-Lands/112620125878

And the image: I have a better, larger version, but don't want to post it online. Let me know what you think, though. :)

Wednesday, August 05, 2009

Feeling Special

My son has been doing Vacation Bible School this week and they are wearing him out. Last night we let them watch a show while they fell asleep in our beds, but C had forgotten her glasses upstairs in our room. I ran back up to get them (not 5 minutes later) and he was asleep. He'd moved from our bed to our futon and laid there sleeping.

It was so sweet.

He's growing up, though, and I sometimes think back to what it felt like to be the oldest sibling. It didn't feel all that special. Sure, you got to drive first, but then you ran errands with your little sister in tow. Ok, you graduated first, but then you were out working in the world first too. Well, you did have more responsibility, but that also meant you heard, "Well, you're older, you should have known better," which was never fun or useful.

I also got to sleep on the couch while my sister slept in the bed. I got to mow the lawn (this may have to do with being a boy more than older, but still). And, well, you get the point.

Now, when I think about our kids, our youngest is currently our last. Possibly our last ever, after our fourth went to be with the Father. God willing, he won't be, but for now he is. This makes him very special to us, and we baby him (sometimes too much) but we dote on him and love every little thing he does and says.

Our middle child is our only daughter. She is a Daddy's girl and I love her to death. She loves pirates and zombies and guns and Mickey Mouse and Tinker Bell. She's a handful at times and knows how to be sly and is stubborn, but she gets away with it.

A is our oldest. He's growing up so fast. He's being responsible and I can already see the wonderful man he will become one day. He's very special to us, but I sometimes fear he doesn't know how special he is to me. I guess it's probably normal, but I want him to know that he has me here for him.

This makes me think about our Lord. He doesn't always do things that continuously make me feel special, but He has done many. I am special to Him just as A is special to me (and to Him).

So how does He make me feel and know I am special? Without a need to have anyone else think it or show it to me. (Though I know my family does, they kind of have to or I'll kick them out of the house.)

Well, the answer is, He doesn't.

You may say, "What? He does too, doesn't He? What's wrong?" or something like that. Or you may say, "Yeah, He doesn't me either. Can you imagine. Why be a Christian if He won't do that?"

Well, there are two points to make, then I must return to work.

One:
He doesn't always make me feel special.Sometimes I feel pretty crappy. (Not now, but we all get depressed at times, it's NORMAL) Sometimes it doesn't feel like He knows I'm here at all.

I've realized there are many reasons this happens. Sometimes something bad just happens. When we lost our child, nothing could have made me feel special. It was a terrible, dark time. He knew that, and He knew we'd feel that. And it was OK to feel that way.

Sometimes, it's our fault too. We may do something we know is bad, or yell at someone and think we're above them, but inside we feel small and insignificant. This is normal too. Sometimes we'll feel special because of the bad thing, but it doesn't last long and we are left with a choice: Repent or Repeat.

Sometimes, it's our fault for another reason. God wants to be our Father and our Friend. This is the second point...

Two:
He wants us to spend time with Him.

I've been spending more time in the Bible recently and reading some prophecy blogs. I believe much of the Bible talks about what's happening now and that thrills me, scares me, and encourages me. He knew what would happen and He told us. Anyway, for some prophecy stuff, look at this page, my wife showed it to me and it's very good: http://bible-prophecy-today.blogspot.com

He wants us to spend time with Him. Not just sometimes, ALL OF OUR TIME. This doesn't mean we need to go become monks who read the Bible and pray and nothing else. No. He wants us to include Him in our daily lives, like He includes us in His. And like we would a friend.

Or someone who reads our blogs.

Or tweets.

He wants our time.

And there was the key. I have not been spending enough time with A. He needs more Father-Son time. He loves to play Little Big Planet and make levels (like his Daddy already) and he loves to build things. He's collecting boxes to make a robot right now.

I need to go help him with that this weekend. And maybe tonight I can help him make a level in Little Big Planet. Try to focus his creativity some, but more just spend time with him.

I'm going to do that.

Now, back to work....

Monday, August 03, 2009

I Was Going to Post...

I think He may be testing me. I started to type a blog during lunch (I'm on my lunch break at work now) and even read two chapters. Good ones to be sure. James 5 and Romans 12. They both spoke to me some, but He didn't lay anything on my heart to post, so I'm not.

This doesn't count. :)

I was typing... correction, I typed a few paragraphs (with some witty stuff, you'll have to trust me) but as I typed, I realized I was forcing it. I guess we do that sometimes. We can't get what we want when we want it, so we force it out.

I was forcing it. It wasn't Him speaking to me, and it wasn't honest. It was more like the first draft of those essays you do in Senior English during High School. Especially if you know you're already graduating, so you just type whatever drivel you can and think it's some smart take on something above most people.

Partly because you don't understand it yourself.

Well, that's what I was doing and He was like, "No. Don't write that." So I deleted it. I wanted to post about not posting, though, so I could try to get in the habit of posting regularly, but then I realized, maybe, instead of me forcing what God wants, I should let Him hijack my thoughts.

Or lack thereof.

Saturday, August 01, 2009

God Is Smart

Just left the Church, in fact I'm in the van, riding home. We've been going on Saturday nights again and the atmosphere is so different. Anyway, you may think, God is smart, so yeah, I knew that. Well, I'm thinking of something Mike said tonight and it isn't "Come to church and get high." He did say that, but he was talking about knowing God's will. He said there's no simple checklist and the more he reads the Bible the more confused he gets. Well this made me think that God is smart.

You see, I always wanted an easy way to know His Will, but He knows better. If it were that simple it would become routine. We would just complete the list when we needed it and write God off for the rest of the day.

(Just got home, switched to computer)

Sample Checklist:
_ Do this
_ Do that
_ Do the other
_ Done with God for today

So, if we have a simple check list, we won't really appreciate it and get what we need out of it. Sure, we'd get what we want, we'd know His Will. But what about what we need? I know that if I were living this daily, my life would be different. Let me tell you a story about my journey the past two weeks...

Last weekend, Mike talked about titheing. Not just giving 10% but giving everything. You see, God doesn't want just the 10%. No. He wants it all. (It's His anyway, but that's another subject for another day.) He wants us to willingly, joyfully, hysterically give him everything we have.

Yes, everything.

Nope, that too.

Let me reiterate. He wants us to give Him EVERYTHING. And not reluctantly. He wants us to be happy about it. No, not happy, HYSTERICAL. He wants us to be happier than if we went to Disney World, or Comic-Con, or E3, or New York, or France, or Greece, or Italy, or the Moon, or we were the first person to meet Elvis as he returned from Alpha Centary. Whichever appeals to you more or make up your own thing.

Not that those things can't make you happy, but he wants us to be happy about giving. (If you're unclear about this, read the passage about the rich man who Jesus personally asks to literally follow Him, all he has to do is sell his stuff. (Matt 19:16 - 30))

Also, Mike had mentioned that money was the one place God said we may test Him. He said many times not to, but with money, we may. And many people will find that if they tithe, good things may happen, it's not guaranteed, but it may. He takes care of us. Also, those who don't, well, their washers break.

Anyway, back to me. :)

Ok, so, our washer broke. We're saving money to buy a house, and our washers break, so we need to buy a new one. I'd promised my wife that I'd get her those nice front loading ones when they broke, and figured we had another year or two. We didn't.

So, we had to plunk down a load of cash for that. Well, we also had a few other money issues. Nothing to worry about and God will provide, but He wasn't at the time. And I knew why. So we tithed, happily. We weren't not tithing because we didn't want to or didn't have the money, it was sheer laziness. I didn't want to do the bills.

So, that entire message was right on track with what happened that week. And it was a wonderful service with a baptism after it.

Ok, I know. You're asking yourself where I'm going with this. Trust me, it circles back to God being smart.

We get there tonight and the atrium is open and the interstate too. The place is alive with the Holy Spirit and, well, I told you what he was talking about tonight.

God is smart.

Oh, and he mentioned that God is slow. I think we all know this. He never answers us in our hurried little time. He waits for until just the right time. Anyway, I read all of James 4 while he was talking. (I pay better attention when I read the Bible or write while he's speaking. It helps me make connections.) It's an excellent chapter, but one passage he didn't mention tonight stuck out.

James 4:1-3 "Where do you think all these appalling wars and quarrels come from? Do you think they just happen? Think again. They come about because you want your own way, and fight for it deep inside yourselves. You lust for what you don't have and are willing to kill to get it. You want what isn't yours and will risk violence to get your hands on it. You wouldn't think of just asking God for it, would you? And why not? Because you know you'd be asking for what you have no right to. You're spoiled children, each wanting your own way.

Especially the italicized part.

So, I know what He wants me to do. I want to know His Will and in order to do that, I need to study His Word more. Daily.

He also wants me to study it not only alone (I know He wants that) but with my kids and wife. So that's three times. Daily.

Another thing He wants me to do (I know, He's so demanding. It's like he wants everything in my life or something... oh wait... ) is to stop and look at nature. Just pay attention to what's around me. I spend too much time in my little brain. Thinking about my book, or a movie, or tv show, or game, or my wife, or kids, or some picture, or what I'm going to respec to in WoW, etc. I don't spend enough time just being. (Not a typo. I mean, just being.)

I think He wants me to post my thoughts, too. Not to help anyone else, I'm sure. If He uses it for that, I'll be amazed. I'm a little long-winded and like to write, so I'll be surprised if anyone even reads to this point. ;) (Except my Wife and Mother)

I think He wants me to use this as a journal. If I type up my thoughts and feelings, not only will I be holding myself more accountable, but I'll be able to think through it while I'm typing. So, that's what I'll be doing.

Daily.

God willing. :)

He wants me, and for that matter, this part applies to anyone still with me, to be forced to spend time with Him if we want to know Him and His Will. He's like us, you know. I don't always know my wife's will, wants, likes, dislikes, and I spend everyday with her, talking, flirting, playing, arguing, etc. How could I ever expect to know the likes and dislikes of someone so much more complex and unimaginable with a simple checklist?

God is smart.

Thursday, July 09, 2009

The IT Crowd

Ok, I found this awesome, funny, British comedy. It's called the IT Crowd. The characters totally remind me of people I know... If you enjoy the Office, or comedy in general, it's a great watch. Check it out!

Saturday, June 20, 2009

The Dark Lands

I've been working on my novel for almost 3 years now. It's nearly complete. I am getting nervous though. Being my first book, I'm not entirely sure of the best way to get it published. I know that there are some books out there to help first time authors find agents or get published (I'm hoping for some for Father's Day tomorrow) and I will read them. If anyone reading this has any advice, I would welcome it. Also, if you know any agents or publishers who work with the sci-fi/horror genre, let me know... :)

Wednesday, March 18, 2009

Intelligent Mistakes: How to Incorporate Stupidity Into Your

A fun article about AI. It shows lessons the author learned while developing a snooker game and applies these lessons to a chess and shooter game. Great for beginner and expert AI programmers or even those just interested in AI.

read more | digg story

Tuesday, January 13, 2009

The Cost of Discipleship (Paul Washer)

Another sermon by Paul Washer with a mention of Cracker Barrel at the end. :) This one is a little more dry than the first one I posted, but just as powerful.

Monday, January 12, 2009

Paul Washer: Man's Two Problems

This is another video by Paul Washer. It's all audio with a still image and in this one he does not quote scripture as much, but this is an awesome short message. Look for more Paul Washer videos soon, I imagine I'll be posting them a lot.

Paul Washer - Shocking Message (full length)

There are no words to add. His are true, Biblical, and convicting. He is a true prophet of God. (He does not tell the future, I use the word in its original meaning, he speaks God's message.)

Thursday, January 01, 2009

Watching a Movie For Someone Else...


Ok, I saw this comic (it's a great series) and it totally reminded me of C and myself. I'm ALWAYS saying she "has" to watch this or that... Like I'm starting her on 24, I avoided it for years and just started watching it the other week, and I know she'd love it... anyway, here it is...

Link to Comic