A New Creature

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So, I'm starting with a little update. I started reading the Bible about 30 days ago on a daily basis. I use YouVersion. They have an excellent iPhone app that can track a reading plan, but if you don't have the iPhone (or iPod Touch) don't fret. The reading plan is a feature on their website too, so you can go there and track it.



It comes with many different translations, including the Message, KJV, NIV, NLT, many languages, like Japanese, Spanish, and many more. If you don't enjoy reading on your phone or computer, you can use it to track the reading and just pull out a Bible to read the appropriate chapter.

Well, as I've been reading it, the God of the Angel Armies has spoken to me about many things. Mostly my sin. I'm a horrible sinner,and I was born that way. I've heard it's a terminal condition. Fortunately the Counselor spoke to me about my sin and laid a guilt so heavy about one particular sin that I couldn't shake it.

He weighed on my heart until I confessed it and shared it. I'm not going into detail about all of it, but I will share some of it. As I shared this with my wife... I confessed to her, because she is my best friend and He has used her to help me grow closer to Him repeatedly... He opened my eyes to the fact that I was consumed too much with our modern culture.

My television consumption consisted of stuff I would have been ashamed to watch with Jesus, or even my children. I watched 24, How I Met Your Mother, Heroes, and more. Much more. I deleted over 40 subscriptions from my Hulu account alone.

I'm not saying this to brag. It's nothing to brag about. I am ashamed of what I was watching and how much. I can't stand it.

But, I couldn't stop watching those shows.

I was writing my novel every night. I nearly finished it. I'm probably 20 hours of work away from being ready to publish.

I wanted to publish it.

I wanted to be a writer, with a book out, but I felt His weight on me about how my book wasn't what He wanted.

I fought that.

I wanted to write so bad, and maybe one day I will. But not now. My family needs me to be there for them. I was spending so little time with my family that I knew I had to stop writing, watching crap that didn't matter, and living in video games and fantasy worlds.

I was evil. I am evil. I know that. God tells me that. "8 If we say that we have no sin, we deceive ourselves, and the truth is not in us.
9 If we confess our sins, he is faithful and righteous to forgive us the sins, and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness.
10 If we say that we haven’t sinned, we make him a liar, and his word is not in us." 1st John 1:8-10.

I have sin and can't deny it. I have a desire to go out into the world, share the Word, spread His Love and His gift... but first I needed to get myself right. I needed to get my family right.

I'm taking care of those things now.

I already know the next step, but not until He says I'm ready.

So, I've been reading the Bible, and the Lord has been breaking me. He has been tearing my heart apart and it hasn't felt good, but the healing between the hurt has been amazing. I have had the best 24 days of my life in the past 24 days, and that includes the double ear infection, sinus infection, kids with the same, etc.

I have been a typical American "Christian" who just asked Jesus into his heart and went about his day for a long time. Sure, I listened to Christian music, and some that would make me cringe in the presence of Jesus. I was playing games that I wouldn't allow near my children, but I'd allow them near myself and my wife.

I praise God that He kept me alive long enough to see that I was never broken over my sin, because I was broken the other day.

I plan to post more about my journey, but this was just an update. So if I've been different, or distant recently, know that it's because I am. I am focused on my Savior and my Lord more than ever and I hope it increases until the fire consumes me.